My Fun Type: Growing
Novelty + Surprise + Challenge = Happy Me
“I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I know that i am not a thing-a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process.” Buckminster Fuller
We were born knowing how to have fun. Then somewhere along the way, we learned that fun is child's play. That we had to be serious and successful instead.
We learned that being successful would lead us to happiness. And that we could have fun again when we go on vacation or when we retire.
We were wrong.
Fun is the point. And I believe we can learn how to have more of it again.
It’s nearly impossible for me to have fun if I’m feeling trapped. And I know I’m not alone
I often speak with people who are in “great” jobs, where nothing in particular is “wrong”, but still they find themselves longing for something “more”. Then they express how they feel guilty for looking for something else, and/or anxious that they might regret leaving something known for something unknown.
Every time I have stepped out of my comfort zone (moving to new cities, traveling on my own, quitting a job without a backup plan, starting a documentary etc), I too felt a lot of guilt and anxiety, and I struggled to justify my decisions. Especially when the tradeoffs appeared so significant (ending relationships, depleting my savings/taking on debt, even risking my physical safety).
The only thing that has helped me make sense of an urge I couldn’t put words to was to reflect on trees.
I think of how trees (like any other living thing really) are primarily driven to grow and expand. Imagine trying to tell a young tree that they’re tall enough already, have enough leaves already, have produced enough fruit already! You’d have to poison it to make it stop.
When I see tree roots breaking through cement sidewalks, I think of how ridiculous the imagined limits that we humans place on ourselves are, how we’re poisoning ourselves when we settle.
I’ve never, ever regretted optimizing for growth. I still feel anxiety, fear, guilt, confusion, and uncertainty like anyone else, but I get better and better at trusting those feelings will quickly be replaced by better ones like awe, exhilaration, gratitude, and confidence.
In my opinion, the world would be a happier, more joyous place if more people saw that they could break some sidewalks.
I have the most fun when I’m surprised, when I’m learning something new, or overcoming a challenge. Fun for me is spreading my wings and flying.
What is fun for you?