When Expectations Get In The Way

Lessons from trying to prioritize fun for a month

For the month of June, I set aside one hour each day for my “fun practice,” and honestly, it was a relief when June was over. Like many of my other experiments, I’d say this one was a bit of a failure.

I’ll dig into why, but first, here’s a snapshot of the range of things I did during these fun hours (including a rough personal fun rating for each activity):

• Acupuncture (3/10)

• Prospect Park Zoo (5/10)

• Held an “office hour” (x4 weeks) with the goal of talking to someone I wouldn’t normally talk to (2/10 - in part because 50% of the people who signed up didn’t show up)

• Got a tarot reading (7/10)

• Went to a new location of Slutty Vegan (5/10 - definitely fun as far as fast food goes!)

• Took my baby on his first bike ride (8/10)

• Went to a fancy 40th birthday (3/10)

• Biked to central park (4/10)

• Broadway show (4/10)

• Drinks on my roof with a couple friends (7/10)

• Baby “gym” with a friend and her baby (4/10)

• Took smog photos (6/10)

• Coaching session with a friend (8/10)

• Creative “salon” with a couple friends (6/10)

• Read in a community garden (5/10)

• Tried Peoplehood (8/10)

• Playshop workshop (1/10)

• Mermaid Parade @ Coney Island (8/10 miraculously fun in spite of my panic attack)

• Night @ Rockaway Hotel/Beach & Pool Day/Ferry Rides (5/10, mainly because weather ended up sucking)

• Creative Mornings events (in person: 10/10 & virtual 2/10)

• Seeing friends with my baby (ranging from 4/10-6/10)

• Zoom with a friend (3/10)

• Cardio Dance (3/10)

• Kayaking in the Hudson River (8/10)

I meant to do a few other things like mushrooms, a breathwork class, an outdoor movie and an outdoor concert, but didn’t get around to them.

Wildfire Smoke in NYC June 2023

What Did I Learn?

It’s worth noting that unplanned activities and pleasant surprises often ended up being more fun than the planned ones.

e.g. It was more fun going on the carousel with my baby (unplanned) after taking him to the zoo (planned) than it was being at the zoo; chatting with a woman on the ferry (unplanned) to Rockaway was easily the highlight of our staycation (planned).

What Worked

• Prioritizing IRL>zoom (Creative Mornings, friends, etc).

• Pushing myself out of my comfort zone (probably wasn’t wise to go for a (masked) bike ride on such a smoggy NYC day, but it was kinda exhilarating...)

• Agreeing to offers from friends just because (tarot, coaching session, Peoplehood)

• Being open to where the day takes me (Rockaway ferry convo + zoo carousel)

• Firsts (baby’s first bike ride, Peoplehood, kayaking in Hudson, mermaid parade)

What Didn’t Work

• Trying to have fun when expectations were high (Broadway, fancy bday party, play workshop, Rockaway Hotel)

• Being in any sort of situation where I was worried about my baby’s safety (see: panic attack)

• Spending more money to try to have more fun (almost everything I did was free or very affordable, and that’s definitely the case with the most fun activities)

Overall, I think that it helped to make space for fun and start my day with the intention to have fun, but it did not help to try to plan for it. Maybe others who enjoy the actual planning process would have a different experience, but even with the help of chatgpt, I found it overwhelming.